so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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