Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
