Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
