All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
