Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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