no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
