In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
