would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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