I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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