idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
