the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
