they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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