Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
