sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Farmville is her only friend.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
