he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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