I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
