HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
