we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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