So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
