Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
