Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
