How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
