and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
