I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize