I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
