that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You can't motorboat a personality
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
