Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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