drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
