Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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