He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
