So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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