I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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