he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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