I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
