So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
