so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
