If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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