Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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