$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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