I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
