I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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