Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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