I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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