Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
third nipple confirmed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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