did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
