Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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