Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
