margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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