The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she peed on how many people?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
