at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
