Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I got her a Nickelback box set.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
