Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
