Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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