who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We left the knife in your bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
