turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
