how can u be prego again
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize