If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They have beer where we have blood.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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