i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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