you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
