She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
