The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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