Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
