I'm drive I can fine osifer
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
